Control Freak

Okay I realize I am one.  Big time.  I want what I want when I want it,how I want it. But this weekend T took over.  And it felt wonderful not be the one in control.  To not have to make the decisions was such a gift.  It felt good to not to be responsible.  There was one problem for me.  I like my space in the morning to wash up,brush my teeth ect..  at my own pace.  He was there trying to be helpful and put away my hair stuff, close lids on things.  And it drove me nuts.  I actually did ask him to let me be.  And he said no.  I have to get used to this I guess.  But how???  He wasn't trying to rush me at all just wanted to be by me and talk.  I wasn't exactly Miss Sunshine so thankful spanking doesn't happen here.  I probably would have earned and deserved it.  Need to go make dessert so I will add more later.
Jenny

Family input

Hi Blogworld
Thursday I finally told my sister about T.  I knew she knew.  But she claims to have found out from a different source than I thought.  I basically got the reaction I was expecting  Disapproval based on the age difference and the fact that T drinks.  It hurts that both my sisters think I am with T because of financial reasons.  I know neither is in possession of all the facts.  In preparing to have the talk I have done a lot of soul searching.  I am with T because I love him.  I love him because o.f how he makes me feel secure and accepted.  I tried to explain that to my sister.  But it's hard when I was also trying not to come out and say how I feel rejected by my entire family her included.  I don't want to start up a big argument or fight.  I don't want to hurt anyones feelings.  I feel like an outside in my family.  It feels like everyone is waiting for me to screw up again.  I feel like I have disappointed everyone my entire life.  I know 2 years ago one sister had a fathers day party and the other sister came with her grown children. I was not invited,I happened to drive by going to a friends house and seen everyone hanging out in the yard and the cars out in front.  Later on I dropped by other sisters house and casually asked about how she celebrated the day and was lied to.  I have never confronted either sister about it.  I don't see the point.  It won't fix anything.  But moving away with T gets me away from that happening again.  I am close enough to come if I want or stay away saying I don't want to drive so far.  It gives me the power to let them in only as close as I want them to be.  I should also say there is a big age difference between my sisters and me.  They are old enough to be my mother.  That plays a part in all this I am sure.  I am really trying to be fair here.  
Good new is that my younger son and I spent the weekend with T.  Dear Son(Ds) loved his new bedroom and is really looking forward to the move.  I got to cook dinner Saturday night.  I love my kitchen.  Being there just seems to take a load of stress off my back.  I love relaxing in my recliner and the place just has so much more room than my apartment.  I can't wait to move.  That is it for now I need to get back to working on my apartment.
Thanks for all the comments
Jenny

Life begins

Hi Blogworld
Sorry I have been absent.  Life has been so busy.  T suddenly sold his house and we had to find a new place.  But we did and moved him into in in 36 days.  Yes you read that right 36 days.  It's been a wild ride.  And we did it together.  We are creating our home,our traditions,our routines.  He wants me and my boys to come live there.  I am so happy. I feel such peace,serinity and security at the new place. It feels like everything I have been waiting for is here.  Life begins again.  It's no Taj Mahal but it's my home sweet home. 
Jenny