Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A wonderful day

Hi Blogworld

Tonight I am really enjoying my life.  My day started off great.  I made a pork roast in the crock pot so we would have a good meal without heating up the house.  I got a load of laundry started,showered,dressed and tidied our bedroom up before going to work.  Work was good.  I got to do some extras for my client that will improve her quality of life.  This trust is something I have worked so hard to earn.   At home afterwards T and I went thru the mail together.  I have never enjoyed such domestic bliss.  I even like making plates for everyone.  T talked while I cleaned up the kitchen.  Then we went and folded the laundry together.  We are doing everything together and it isn't bugging me!  No annoyance and I noticed how I am asking him for his input on little things like what seasonings on the roast.  Right now I am sitting at the patio set outside just enjoying the weather.  Life is good.  I am moving on and enjoying T and the life we are building together.
Jenny

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Family fallout

Hi Blogworld,

Yesterday was a busy day for me. I won a court battle with my ex.  And stoothd up for myself to him.  No more Jenny the doormat.  I sadly ended my relationship with my sister.  One sister realizes I am with Teddy for love not money.  The other let me know she thinks he should be protected from me.  That I made him sell his house and move.  And doesn't want me to bring him to her daughter's wedding this summer.  I know she thought I was moving in cause I couldn't afford my apartment anymore.  But that he needs to be protected from me like I am trying to cheat or steal his money. I am in a position to do that if I wanted to but I wouldn't.  I do my best to be as up front and honest with T as I can be.  I am looking out for him.  Moving in together has had it's ups and downs.  But I see myself trusting and turning over more decisions to T.  Last night I realized my sister thought I was a gold digger.  That has hurt me so badly.  I was devestated that she could think that of me.  I have always looked up to her and tried to earn her approval.  Well no more.  Years ago when I went thru my divorce I lost my house to forclosure.  Later on she told me how disappointed she was in me over that.  But when I explained how the payments would have been to keep it she understood and agreed with my decision.  Now she is judging me again without all the facts. But I don't think she will ever get the chance to change her mind.  I just want her out of my life forever.  No more jumping thru hoops for her approval.  T told he thinks she might be jealous.  I am making my dreams come true.  I am so happy to be here with T.  Our home is a peaceful place full of love.  My man makes me feel beautiful and desireable, intelligent,and wanted. I feel that I fit, I belong.  Last night after I finished crying I told T that I know we don't have 50 years together to look forward to but I want to enjoy everyday I have with him.  I have been getting bossy about candy.  T is diabetic.  I asked him to please not have it.  It took me 45 years to find him and I want every day I can get with him.  I love him with all my heart. 
Jenny

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Well I am learning

Hello Blogworld
I have moved in with T.  I am struggling in some ways and in others have never been happier.  I have not been with a man 24/7 in 17 years.  T likes togetherness.  I am used to my space.  Especially in the morning.  He is too helpful. Wants to be in the bathroom while I am washing my face and brushing my teeth.  Open the sugar for my tea.  It should be sweet. I am finding it annoying.  I have apologized and talked to him about how I feel akward with him watching me.  The man doesn't miss a thing.    He has actually talked about spanking me.  I didn't say a word  he just said if I didn't stop trying to control him He would spank my butt.  I didn't object to it just tried to let him know my intentions.  T is diabetic and I get aggressive about him not eating sugar.  I mean well.  I want him alive.  But I see myself also pushing him, having a temper tantrum to get my own way according to him.  I just wanted him to see my point of view and hear me.  I was not feeling heard. And I want to see if he would follow thru but don't want to deserve that.  Does that make sense? 
Jenny