Hi Blogworld,
Well I titled my blog Learning on the way. Did not know how true it would turn out to be. This week I began reading a chapter of Proverbs everyday. I intend to do this for the rest of my life. I'm amazed at the knowledge and wisdom in the bible. I am really beginning to feel like I am learning. When I titled my blog I hoped on the way meant on the way to the altar. But today I think it means the journey of life. I am learning to trust God and work on my spiritual life. I still hope to meet someone and marry again. I believe that man will be a leader in our home. I am trusting in God to bring us together. This week I have calmed down so much. My depression has lifted tremendously. Has anything changed drastically? No I am still in the same position that I was. The difference is that I am trusting God to guide me and not trying to fix it by myself. I read many dd blogs and wanted a husband rwould be in charged. Well I already have a relationship with God and His Son,Jesus who are ready willing and able to lead if I am willing to follow. No it is not the same as having a flesh and blood husband. It is a relationship that will continue into eternity. And They will never let me down, disappoint me, or make me feel worthless. A human husband would be a good addition but They are enough. Wow did I get sidetracked... Gonna have to come back tonight and tell you about all the good stuff in today's chapter. Check it out for youself and see what you think.
Jenny
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Proverbs 21
Hi Blogworld
Well I am keeping up and read Proverbs 21 today. Verse 30 really caught my attention:"There is no wisdom, no understanding, no counsel, against the Lord." I am not sure I fully understand it but my intial thought was that it meant it's futile to go against God. And I do believe it is. How can man take on God and win? I believe God spoke the world into being. How can a mere mortal combat that power? He has no chance of winning. I realize many people don't believe the bible. And they have that right. I realize that God reveals what He chooses to in it. I realized this morning that the Bible doesn't record the creation of angels. But I believe they exist. Why ? Because of the story of Gabriel visiting Mary and telling her she was to bear Jesus. I accept this because God is my Heavenly Father and tells me what I need to know and understand. I do not tell my children everything. I tell them what I need and want them to know. Yesterday I seen that there are options I did not see to get out of the financial mess I am in. I have to believe that the more I seek Him the better off I will be. It doesn't mean there won't be stress or frustration. Last night I went to the library I seen the irs forms. One problem I have been struggling with is needing to file my taxes and not having the money for turbo tax. Well there on the forms were information on free e filing. Boy did I want to jump up and dance. I was so happy. Come home and walk into my room and find a great big pile of poop on my bed from one of the kittens. I strip off the bed and start washing stuff. Come back into room see my flowers knocked over and spill half my snapple trying to pick up the vase. I was so aggravated I wanted to cry. I just went to bed and could deal with anymore. But today is a new day and it is snowing out. I will put the past behind me and be grateful for today.
Hope you have a great day
Jenny
Well I am keeping up and read Proverbs 21 today. Verse 30 really caught my attention:"There is no wisdom, no understanding, no counsel, against the Lord." I am not sure I fully understand it but my intial thought was that it meant it's futile to go against God. And I do believe it is. How can man take on God and win? I believe God spoke the world into being. How can a mere mortal combat that power? He has no chance of winning. I realize many people don't believe the bible. And they have that right. I realize that God reveals what He chooses to in it. I realized this morning that the Bible doesn't record the creation of angels. But I believe they exist. Why ? Because of the story of Gabriel visiting Mary and telling her she was to bear Jesus. I accept this because God is my Heavenly Father and tells me what I need to know and understand. I do not tell my children everything. I tell them what I need and want them to know. Yesterday I seen that there are options I did not see to get out of the financial mess I am in. I have to believe that the more I seek Him the better off I will be. It doesn't mean there won't be stress or frustration. Last night I went to the library I seen the irs forms. One problem I have been struggling with is needing to file my taxes and not having the money for turbo tax. Well there on the forms were information on free e filing. Boy did I want to jump up and dance. I was so happy. Come home and walk into my room and find a great big pile of poop on my bed from one of the kittens. I strip off the bed and start washing stuff. Come back into room see my flowers knocked over and spill half my snapple trying to pick up the vase. I was so aggravated I wanted to cry. I just went to bed and could deal with anymore. But today is a new day and it is snowing out. I will put the past behind me and be grateful for today.
Hope you have a great day
Jenny
Monday, February 20, 2012
Here I go
Hi Blogworld
Well I am beginning. I read Chapter 20 of Proverbs. A couple of lines stick in my mind. False weights and measures are an abomination to the Lord. I think that means overcharging and double billing customers are a sin before God. The other was the last line Beatings cleanse the inner most parts. I am not sure what to think of it. Off to start the rest of my day.
Jenny
Well I am beginning. I read Chapter 20 of Proverbs. A couple of lines stick in my mind. False weights and measures are an abomination to the Lord. I think that means overcharging and double billing customers are a sin before God. The other was the last line Beatings cleanse the inner most parts. I am not sure what to think of it. Off to start the rest of my day.
Jenny
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Listening to the Big Guy
Hi Blogworld,
I have mentioned here that I am having some financial problems. Well I have been busy dreaming up all sorts of ways to get out of them and never have them happen again. I have been complain praying but not listening for answers (too busy for that) Well today He must have had enough. I kept hearing about trusting in God for solutions. Bible story at church was David and Goliath. I bet you know I had been thinking I was David and the problems were Goliath. But somehow the message got turned around for me that did I believe God was Bigger that the problems and if so I need to start acting like it. Boy did that give me something to think about. Then I come home tonight and my wonderful neighbor fills me in on his idea for buying our rental house(he is upstairs and I live on main floor) He has lots of research yet to do but that I should not think that moving is the only option I have. He also wants to see about talking to the landlord about Lowering the rent to a more manageable amount. I don't know if any of this is possible. What I do know is that I am going to be praying and listening for answers and letting Him direct my steps. And so I know I need to be reading my bible daily just to keep my focus straight. I would love if anyone would keep me accountable on this. I am thinking reading a chapter of Proverbs daily. That should be manageable. Right
Jenny
I have mentioned here that I am having some financial problems. Well I have been busy dreaming up all sorts of ways to get out of them and never have them happen again. I have been complain praying but not listening for answers (too busy for that) Well today He must have had enough. I kept hearing about trusting in God for solutions. Bible story at church was David and Goliath. I bet you know I had been thinking I was David and the problems were Goliath. But somehow the message got turned around for me that did I believe God was Bigger that the problems and if so I need to start acting like it. Boy did that give me something to think about. Then I come home tonight and my wonderful neighbor fills me in on his idea for buying our rental house(he is upstairs and I live on main floor) He has lots of research yet to do but that I should not think that moving is the only option I have. He also wants to see about talking to the landlord about Lowering the rent to a more manageable amount. I don't know if any of this is possible. What I do know is that I am going to be praying and listening for answers and letting Him direct my steps. And so I know I need to be reading my bible daily just to keep my focus straight. I would love if anyone would keep me accountable on this. I am thinking reading a chapter of Proverbs daily. That should be manageable. Right
Jenny
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentine's Day
Hi Blogworld,
Today is the day for Sweethearts. Unfortunately I don't have one. Wish I did. I did get flowers from a friend who wants to be more. I am not sure if I want to take a chance on him. He is quite a bit older than me. I need to really think about this. But it is very flattering. Hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day.
Jenny
Today is the day for Sweethearts. Unfortunately I don't have one. Wish I did. I did get flowers from a friend who wants to be more. I am not sure if I want to take a chance on him. He is quite a bit older than me. I need to really think about this. But it is very flattering. Hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day.
Jenny
Sunday, February 12, 2012
The Next Step Is ????
Hi Blogworld,
In my last post I did a good job talking about moving on. But today I am kinda sitting here trying to figure out what that actually is in action. I did actually drive past Bear's house and notice mail is piling up in the box. I actually thought about emailing him and asking him if he wanted me to bring it in for him. He has avoidance issues and seeing that tells me he is avoiding something in there. I am proud to say I didn't but I am concerned. So any ideas on how to take action on moving on? Not driving by his place would be a start. I need to find some that don't invovle him. I will see if there are some activities I can do with my church. That should be a good place to make some new friends. Now it is off to bed for me.
Jenny
In my last post I did a good job talking about moving on. But today I am kinda sitting here trying to figure out what that actually is in action. I did actually drive past Bear's house and notice mail is piling up in the box. I actually thought about emailing him and asking him if he wanted me to bring it in for him. He has avoidance issues and seeing that tells me he is avoiding something in there. I am proud to say I didn't but I am concerned. So any ideas on how to take action on moving on? Not driving by his place would be a start. I need to find some that don't invovle him. I will see if there are some activities I can do with my church. That should be a good place to make some new friends. Now it is off to bed for me.
Jenny
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Moving on
Hi Blogworld,
It's seems so weird that it's only been a week with no contact with Bear. And I am still standing. I am okay and the world didn't stop spinning. I think I have spent the last year preparing myself for this. He ended things Dec 2010 and I fell apart. So we got back together. But after Valentine's Day 2011 I started realizing how he was planning his future and I wasn't part of it. I tried to just take every moment I could to enjoy with him. But over time I just drifted away. And last month when I seen him actually packing to move I couldn't face his place. I still don't know if I will ever be able to love someone like that again. I hope so. I don't blame him or hate him. He is doing what is right for him and what he thinks is best for both of us. I will always admire him for that strength. But I will always wonder what it would have been like if things had worked out. And if I am in denial and he is being a coward and running away I will be so disappointed. So Bear is my past and I will cherish the memories. Mr. Right is out there and I get a chance to meet him everyday.
Jenny
It's seems so weird that it's only been a week with no contact with Bear. And I am still standing. I am okay and the world didn't stop spinning. I think I have spent the last year preparing myself for this. He ended things Dec 2010 and I fell apart. So we got back together. But after Valentine's Day 2011 I started realizing how he was planning his future and I wasn't part of it. I tried to just take every moment I could to enjoy with him. But over time I just drifted away. And last month when I seen him actually packing to move I couldn't face his place. I still don't know if I will ever be able to love someone like that again. I hope so. I don't blame him or hate him. He is doing what is right for him and what he thinks is best for both of us. I will always admire him for that strength. But I will always wonder what it would have been like if things had worked out. And if I am in denial and he is being a coward and running away I will be so disappointed. So Bear is my past and I will cherish the memories. Mr. Right is out there and I get a chance to meet him everyday.
Jenny
Saturday, February 4, 2012
How to be strong
Hi Blogworld
It's been awhile. My Bear and I have parted ways. No contact is what he wants. It is for the best. I am sitting here figuring out where to go in life. How to meet someone new. So many challenges facing me.
I am in trouble financially. My child support will be ending in June and I don't know how I will manage without it. I am so tired of battling life. Why is everything a battle for me? I am a nice person,kind and considerate of others. Why can't I find lasting love? Why am I never enough? Why can't I make enough money on my job to support myself and my family? I can see the black hole of depression looming in front of me and I don't want to go back into it. I just don't feel strong enough to outrun it.
Someone please help me
It's been awhile. My Bear and I have parted ways. No contact is what he wants. It is for the best. I am sitting here figuring out where to go in life. How to meet someone new. So many challenges facing me.
I am in trouble financially. My child support will be ending in June and I don't know how I will manage without it. I am so tired of battling life. Why is everything a battle for me? I am a nice person,kind and considerate of others. Why can't I find lasting love? Why am I never enough? Why can't I make enough money on my job to support myself and my family? I can see the black hole of depression looming in front of me and I don't want to go back into it. I just don't feel strong enough to outrun it.
Someone please help me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)